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August 10, 1908

CHECKS TELEPHONE PESTS.

Lieutenant Hammil Has Made a Most

Useful Discovery.

Lieutenant H. W. Hammil, stationed at the Walnut street police station, has an infallible method of getting rid of the fellow who wants to monopolize the station telephone. When the bothersome fellow gets the receiver to his ear a monologue like the following ensues:

"Hello, is this Mary?"
"Aw, you know who it is."
"Yes, you do."
"Guess."
"Who have you been thinking about most today?" and so forth, ad infinitum.

Last night such a dialogue was started over the 'phone by one of the beardless youths who frequent the station.

"Watch me make him cut that out," said the lieutenant.

Slipping up behind the unwary youth the officer pulled a common pin out of his vest and inserted it into the cloth wrapping around the telephone wires.

"Hello," said the youth.

A long pause and then he repeated the salutation. Evidently something was wrong with the wire and after calling until he was red in the face, the young man desisted, muttering to himself words not loud but deep.

When he had gone the lieutenant explained:

"You merely insert the pin into the cloth and twist it until it touches both wires at the same time. That causes a short circuit and communication is as impossible as if the other person had hung up the receiver. It is an absolutely sure method of cutting short the conversation, and the recipe is free to all who wish to try it."

Labels: police, pranks, telephone, Walnut street police station

July 24, 1908

PLAYED 'JOKE' ON A PHYSICIAN.

Dr. C. A. Ritter Was Included in the

Telephone User's List.

Mayor Thomas T. Crittenden, Jr., and a few others were not the only ones upon whom practical jokers operated Wednesday night. Dr. C. A. Ritter, who lives at 302 West Fourteenth street, was called up about 11:30 p. m. His wife answered the telephone, but the person speaking insisted that he must speak to the doctor.

"But the doctor has just gone to bed. He has not had a wink of sleep in twenty-four hours," said Mrs. Ritter.

"Well, he is wanted at once at the Baltimore hotel," replied the voice. "Mr. Crethington has just been injured in an accident in the elevator and must have attention at once."

The doctor hurriedly dressed and took the receiver. The message was repeated to him. He had never heard of Mr. Crethington before, and he was unable to recognize the voice, but he rushed over to the hotel.

There all was peace and content. No one had been injured in an elevator accident, there was no man with a name like Crethington in the hotel. Dr. Ritter's number had not been called from any telephone in the hotel that night. The doctor went home sleepy and mystified.

"In the light of the hoaxes that were pulled off on others last night," said the doctor yesterday afternoon, "I think it was a practical joker who played the trick. However, I do not know anyone of my acquaintance who would be both so foolish and so unthoughtful as to get a man out of bed to play a joke on him when he hadn't had any sleep for twenty-four hours."

Labels: doctors, Fourteenth street, Hotel Baltimore, pranks, telephone

July 27, 1908

PLAYED PRANK

ON THE MAYOR.

UNKNOWN "JOKER" LURES HIM

OUT LATE AT NIGHT.

FOR A COWHERD

CONFERENCE.

ALSO USES THE 'PHONE TO GET

I. E. BERNHEIMER.

Then Notifies the Newspaper Offices

and Reporters Hurry Off to Get

Detail of the Bogus

Conference.

Mayor Thomas T. Crittenden, Jr., was calling on friends last night, when he received this telephone message:

"This is Whelan of the Post-Dispatch. I am at the Hotel Baltimore. Can you come down here a few minutes for a little conference in regard to Mr. Cowherd's candidacy?"

The mayor replied that it would be impossible for him to get away at that time, but that he might be able to get to the hotel by 10:45 o'clock.

"All right, that will do. Come down then. We will be here," Mr. Bernheimer said to the mayor.

"I see you are," said the mayor; "but why aren't you home in bed?"

BERNHEIMER BIT, TOO.

"Home in bed? Why, your secretary called me up a while ago and said you wanted me to meet you here at the Baltimore hotel, as you wanted to discuss a very important matter with me."

"Well, that's the first I had heard of that. This is quit a surprise to me. I came down here to find a Mr. Whelan."

At this juncture a reporter for The Journal stepped up to Mayor Crittenden and asked:

"Mayor, what significance is there in the political conference held here tonight?"

"What political conference?" demanded the mayor.

"Why, between you and Joe Shannon and Mr. Bernheimer and others."

"I haven't seen Joe Shannon tonight. There was no political conference. Mr. Bernheimer is a Republican and -- say," and a light seemed to break in on the mayor, "let's get together here. How did you come to asked me about a political conference anyway?"

"The city editor sent me over. He said someone had telephoned to the office that a conference was on between you and some Shannon Democrats and so I came over to find out about it."

The mayor glanced around the hotel to see if he could discern a practical "joker" in the crowd.

"Somebody has been playing a joke," said his honor, "but I can't see any one in this crowd who looks like a joker."

"Nor can I," said Bernheimer, disgustedly.

Then the mayor and Bernheimer walked out in the lobby arm-in-arm.

HE'S A VERY FUNNY JOKER.

At intervals for several years the "joker" who uses the telephone to further his humorous ideas has played pranks on public officials, newspaper men and others. Probably the most persistent case occurred during the campaign of 1904. A well known business man, who occasionally goes in for silk stocking politics, took an active part in the campaign that year. He established a Hearst headquarters at his own expense, published pamphlets and flooded the Western country with literature favorable to his candidate. One night, about 11 o'clock, he appeared in the office of the city editor of The Journal.

"Well, I'm here," he said, without any other introduction whatever.

"So I see," was the reply. "What can I do for you?"

"Don't you want to see me? Didn't you telephone my home for me to call at the office tonight?"

"I certainly did not," was the answer.

"Well, that's funny," and he pulled his stubby beard, perplexedly.

A few nights later this same man inquired of the clerk at the Hotel Baltimore if W. C. Whitney was in his room. He was told that Mr. Whitney was not registered at that hotel.

"Why, he telephoned out to my house for me to meet him here."

A week later this same man journeyed to the depot to meet Mr. Hearst, who was, according to a telephone message, laying over for an hour between train He couldn't find Mr Hearst anywhere. Finally he adopted the plan of making no appointments by telephone except with people whose voices he knew.

Labels: Hotel Baltimore, Mayor Crittenden, politics, pranks, telephone, The Journal, Union depot

July 9, 1908

MOTORCYCLE SQUAD

ON DUTY.

All Motor Cars Run on Low Gear

Schedule Over the Boulevards.

All that was needed yesterday to make the most speedy motorist slow down his car was the slight of the white cap. The white cap meant speed regulation on the boulevards, for under that white cap was one of the motor cycle police squad mounted on a brand new 60-mile-an-hour-motor cycle.

The three men who constitute the motor squad were ordered before Police Captain Walter Whitsett yesterday morning and the speed ordinance read to them. They were given their instructions and told to report to headquarters by telephone at the end of every hour. The hours that these cyclists serve during the day remains a profound mystery. The only way to find them is to try scorching on the boulevards every three hours. If you get caught you're it; if you don't you'll know that the cyclist is at the other end of the next boulevard.

Labels: automobiles, Captain Whitsett, motorcycles, police, telephone

July 3, 1908

MAN UNDER SPELL

VISITS THE MAYOR

WANTS HIS HONOR TO REMOVE

"EVIL INFLUENCE."

TRIP FROM KANSAS

IN VAIN

LAYS ALL HIS TROUBLES TO A

TRAVELING MAN.

J. E. Stroud of Howard, Kas., De-

clares Mr. Crittenden Is the Only

Person, Except a Hypnotist,

Who Can Relieve Him.

"I want to see the mayor and see him at once."

"He's busy now. Won't you have a seat?"

"No I won't. I said I wanted to see the mayor right now, and I meant it. I am under the spell of a hypnotist and may jump in front of a street car at any moment. I want the mayor to break this spell. I have come all the way here to have him do it."

The foregoing dialogue took place yesterday afternoon in the office of Mayor Thomas T. Crittenden, Jr. between a tall, slender man with constantly shifting eyes and the mayor's secretary.

The mayor himself over heard the conversation and took a look at the man who was laboring under hypnotic influence. Something about him made his honor nervous. With visions of bombs, infernal machines and other anarchistic toys, the mayor closed his door and hurried to the telephone.

"Hello, police headquarters?" he asked. "Let me talk to the captain. Is that you, Captain Whitsett? Well, I wish you would send up here to my office and take a man out that is acting queer. This is the mayor."

Captain Whitsett went up himself. When he got there the mayor was leaning over the railing of his office and talking "real nice" to the man. He was taken in charge and locked up in the matron's room.

GRADUATE OF K. U.

To Dr. Paul Lux, who examined him later, the man gave the name of J. E. Stroud of Howard, Kas. He looks to be 30 years old but said that he graduated with a class of about 270 at the Kansas State university on June 10. He said he had taught school at Galva and Jamestown, Kas.

"I came all the way here June 15 to see the mayor about removing a hypnotic influence which has been over me since March 28, last."

Stroud said he did not know the name of the man who had cast the spell on him, but believed it was a New York traveling man with whom he talked at dinner in a Howard, Kas., hotel, March 28.

"Did you know that the man was a hypnotist?" asked Dr. Lux. "When did you first realize that he had hypnotized you?"

"I didn't know it at first, of course," replied Stroud, "or I would have left him. He held my conversation about fifteen minutes longer than I intended and I felt that I could not get away from him. His eyes were funny, but I suspected nothing until a few days later when I found myself acting solely by suggestions that came to me and doing things I had not done before."

Just at this point, Stroud, who was sitting on the edge of a bed, reached out with his right hand and smoothed out the top spread. Jerking his hand away quickly he said: "There, do you see that? Did you notice what I did then?"

STROUD "SEES THINGS."

The doctor had not noticed. Stroud seemed surprised that he had overlooked such an unusual thing as a man smoothing out a bedspread.

"Didn't you see me straighten out that cover? Well, that man caused me to do that. I am not in the habit of smoothing out bedspreads. I wish the mayor had taken this spell off. I believe he is the only one here to do it. In fact I came here just to have him do it."

At another time Stroud scraped a splinter from the floor with the toe of his right shoe. That, too, was caused by the same hypnotic influence. He said that when he arrived here he thought of hunting up another hypnotist and having him try his art at removing a spell cast by another of his profession. The idea always came back to him that Mayor Thomas T. Crittenden, Jr., was the only man in the wide world to remove such influences. "And he actually wouldn't do it," Stroud said sadly; "what do you think of that?"

Stroud said that at times he was able to do exactly the opposite of the hypnotist's suggestions, but that it was a mental strain. Stroud is now being held and relatives at Howard, Kas., will be notified.

Stroud said that if he knew where he could find the hypnotist he would wire him to get busy and look the other way for a while.

Labels: Captain Whitsett, doctors, Mayor Crittenden, mental health, police matron, telephone, universities, visitors

June 26, 1908

BURNING SULFUR

MARS A WEDDING.

BROTHER OF THE BRIDE SE-

VERELY HURT.

HAND SERIOUSLY

INJURED.

ANOTHER GUEST OVERCOME BY

SULPHUROUS FUMES.

Home Where Ceremony Was Being

Held Set on Fire Accidentally.

The "Cutups" Find New

Source of Torment.

Jokers made an attempt to fumigate the residence of Mrs. N. P. Maupin, 3609 Wyandotte street, Wednesday night while Mrs. Maupin's daughter was being married in the parlor to Harry Pierce, a furnishing goods dealer. As a result of the prank Robert Maupin, brother of the bride, may have an injured left hand the rest of his life, and J. J. Foster, a wedding guest, is still confined at his home, 2001 Woodland avenue, ill from inhaling deadly sulphur fumes.

The wedding ceremony was just performed and the formalities of bride-greeting were on, when Robert Maupin left the room to investigate the source of sulphur fumes, which had annoyed the guests during the last few minutes of the wedding service. He entered a rear room and was almost overcome by the fume before he discovered the tray on which the sulphur was burning.

The jokers who placed the sulphur inside had closed the window again and Mr. Maupin was forced to raise the sash with one hand while he held the tray of burning sulphur in the other. The window "stuck," he jerked impatiently, and the tray was overturned. The burning mass ran over Mr. Maupin's left hand and he screamed in pain.

In the meantime, J. J. Foster, who had gone in search of Maupin, heard the latter's startled cry and rushed into the room. The window curtains were ablaze and the carpet was burning. The deadly fumes prostrated Mr. Foster beore he could get out of the room, after putting out the fire and aiding Mr. Maupin with the window and the sulphur tray.

Dr. Allen L. Porter was called from his residence at 3001 Central street. He revived Mr. Foster and treated Mr. Maupin's hand. Mr. Foster was then taken to his home and later another physician was called in consultation. Last night Mr. Foster was unable to leave his house. He insisted last night on going to the telephone and talking to Maupin. He had intended offering a reward for the detection of the jokers who caused his injury. Mr. Maupin, however, said he would prefer not to prosecute because he is sure the fumigating method was taken by friends, who merely tried to frighten the bride and groom.

The flesh was burned from Maupin's hand, and the attending physician stated that some of the finger joints may remain stiff. Mr. Pierce and his bride, who was Miss L. Maupin, will leave tonight for a honeymoon tour of California and the Pacific coast. Their departure was postponed on account of the serious injury to the bride's brother and their guest.

Labels: accident, Central street, doctors, Fire, pranks, telephone, wedding, Woodland avenue

June 24, 1908

THIS IS THE 'PORT

OF MISSING MEN'

SOME OF THEM HAD MONEY,

SOME HAD NONE.

Two Husbands Are Worrying Two

Faithful Wives and Piling Up

Telephone Bills by Remain-

ing Away From Home.

Mrs. Susie Poser called police headquarters by telephone from Tulsa, Ok., yesterday and asked that her husband, S. Poser, here for three weeks, be sought by the police. He is a plasterer, 30 years old, 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs 145 pounds. He has light hair, blue eyes and fair complexion. Has been known to drink.

The mother of Samuel Keller, 17 years old, 913 Oak street, said her boy had left home Sunday morning and had not returned.

This report was among the lot of the missing: "Look out for George Wiley, 12 years old, blue overalls, blue blouse, barefooted and red-headed. Left home last Friday and not heard from since. Notify his mother at Independence avenue and Charlotte street, next to drug store."

Probably the most important person the police were asked to find, yesterday, on account of the fact that he was known to have had $868 and some valuable jewelry with him, was Frank Cook of Independence, Kas. His wife telephoned here and asked that he be located by the police.

Last Friday night Cook entered a hack at Fifth street and Grand avenue and asked to be driven to the Union depot to catch a 9 p. m. train. It was late and the train was missed.

"Bud" Landis, the driver, knew that Cook had with him a large sum of money. He drove slowly back uptown and at Seventh and Wyandotte streets called the attention of Patrolman J. F. Murphy and J. F. Brice, to the man in his hack. Cook was asleep. He had been drinking.

When searched at police headquarters, where he was booked as a "safe keeper," he was found to have $808, a valuable gold watch and chain and other jewelry. Cook was released Saturday morning and his money and jewelry returned to him. The missing man is 35 years old, 5 feet 7 inches tall, weighs about 140 pounds, has light hair, blue eyes and fair complexion. His wife said he might be found in a sanitarium.

A doctor at 1306 Garfield avenue asked that the police be on the lookout for W. H. Madden, a patient who took French leave. The doctor said that Madden was demented. He wanted the man detained until he could be notified.

Bert Murray, a "patient" at the city workhouse, while working in the barn there Sunday concluded to leave. He did leave. As his time is by no means up, Patrick O'Hearn, superintendent of that institution, asks the police to locate Murray and return him, not to the barn, but to the workhouse proper.

Labels: children, Fifth street, Garfield avenue, Grand avenue, mental health, missing, Oak street, police headquarters, Seventh street, telephone, Union depot, workhouse, Wyandotte street

June 1, 1908

MEMORIES OF CITY'S

FIRST TELEPHONE.

MAN WHO INSTALLED IT

WRITES OF EXPERIENCES.

Experimental Line Ran From Main

Street to West Bottoms -- Hard

Time to Find a

Battery.

The first telephone in Missouri was built with fence wire, with knobs from dresser drawers for insulators on the housetops over which the line ran, and that Kansas City's first telephone was of much the same construction, running from Main street to a coal office in the West bottoms, is told in the reminiscences of a pioneer, written for "Public Service," a telephone publication, by E. A. Woelk. Mr. Woelk operated the first line built in Kansas City, and aided in capitalizing a corporation to sell the stock of this half mile of wire. The company became the second Bell Telephone Company in the West, the first one of the name having been operated from St. Louis to the old fair grounds in the suburbs, and was the nucleus of the present great Missouri and Kansas Telephone Company.

Passing though St. Louis with his family on a trip to Europe, Mr. Woelk, then living in Springfield, Mo., heard of a new "fake" out at the fair grounds, and went out. He found men talking over a fence wire. That was in 1877. When he returned from Europe Mr. Woelk was still thinking of the "fake," and disposed of his other business, that he might become an agent in the West for the Eastern corporation, having "wagon tracks" for sale. The wagon tracks turned out to be of value, and Mr. Woelk built a line over the housetops from James Kirby's saloon to Jim Straughton's livery stable, in Springfield. They city council made him take down the line, because citizens heard vile language vibrating from the wire by night, and gossiping ladies believed they easily heard all the doings at Kirby's by listening to the "buzzing" of the wire above the housetops. Here is Mr. Woelk's story of how the first line was built in Kansas City:

About July 1, 1878, I received a telegram from Boston to go to Kansas City and take with me a half dozen telephones and some insulated wire and two magneto bells, to meet Mr. Madden for the purpose of demonstrating the new invention which was to elevate the telephone from a mere toy to an instrument of great commercial value.

I met Mr. Madden, who brought with him in his hand satchel two wooden boxes -- the Blake transmitter. While Mr. Madden was busying himself among bank directors and presidents and railroad magnates with the object of the organizing of a telephone company I set out to find a place to demonstrate the new telephone. A short time prior to this the Western Union Telegraph Company, the only wire-using company in Kansas City in those days, had started to build an exchange.

My difficulties here began when I found that this new instrument, the transmitter, required a battery. Nothing of that kind could be bought in Kansas City then. I went to the Western Union people to borrow two cells of crowfoot battery, but as soon as the telegraph operator discovered that it was to be used for a telephone -- the instrument which he thought would drive him out of business -- I was refused.

I set out to find a chinaware store, and bought two crocks and two flower pots to go inside of these; next I went to a drug store for the blue vitrol and some sulphate of zinc, and then to a tinshop for some zinc, and soon rigged up a battery. In the meantime Mr. Madden had secured the keys to a store, on one of the main streets, which was newly plastered and vacant. Remembering the M. M. Buck line in St. Louis, I found an old telegraph line running from near the store to a coal office in the bottoms, about one-half mile distant. I borrowed this line and equipped it with a magneto bell and telephones, including the transmitter, at the coal office, and at the store end with a call bell and about a half a dozen receivers, the transmitter being located in the rear of the store and the receivers about forty feet distant in front.

About 3 o'clock in the afternoon the prospective shareholders assembled and Mr. Madden began to demonstrate. It was suggested that I go to the coal office and speak to Mr. Madden at the store. This, for some reason, the visitors did not approve of and sent one of their own men down to make the test. A call was made and Mr. Madden spoke to the coal office in an ordinary tone of voice and the reply came promptly while the visitors alternately listened with the receivers. The transmitter was then adjusted very sensitively and I would speak in a whisper which could not be heard at the front of the store but was promptly answered by the representative of the prospective investors.

It was then and there agreed to meet at the hotel after supper, and it was then and there that the second Bell Telephone Company was organized in the Middle West, St. Louis having the first. The capital was $10,000, and out of this organization grew the existing Missouri and Kansas Telephone Company.

Labels: St Louis, telegraph, telephone, West bottoms

May 26, 1908

FIREMEN WANT SOME FLOWERS.

To Strew on Their Comrades' Graves

Decoration Day.

If there are roses or other flowers blooming in your yard, the firemen ask that you spare some of the blossoms that they may decorate their dead comrades' graves Memorial day. Telephone the operator at fire headquarters, or notify any of the engine houses that you are willing to give flowers and the firemen will gladly come to get them.

The firemen have appointed a committee to gather the blossoms and decorate the graves, and it is urged that those that will help notify some firemen as soon as possible. Memorial day is next Saturday.

Labels: Fire, flowers, telephone

May 8, 1908

"LOSE ME," SAYS TEMPAFSKY.

Concluded Sanitary Inspection

Wasn't the Job He Wanted.

A half day at the city pie counter sufficed for Louis Tempafsky, who was appointed Wednesday by the board of health as a sanitary inspector. Louis reported for duty bright and early yesterday morning and adorned in all the regalia of his position of authority started out on his day's work of eight hours at $2.50 per day. Some hours later the telephone in the board of health office rang.

"This is Tempafsky," the clerk who answered the 'phone heard. "Lose me off the pay roll. I never was cut out for this job. You hear me, lose me; get another man."

That was the last seen, or heard, to be more accurate, of Tempafsky, and there is a vacancy in the ranks of the sanitary inspectors.

Labels: board of health, employment, telephone

April 7, 1908

ELECTION RETURNS TONIGHT.

Down-to-the-Minute Returns May

Be Seen at the Journal Building.

Beginning at 7 o'clock tonight, at which hour the polls will close, The Journal will bulletin the election returns at The Journal building, Eighth and McGee streets.

Arrangements have been made for the most complete returns possible and the telegraph and telephone will be used to keep the service right down to the minute. The returns will be bulletined without partisan bias or prejudice. They will be as nearly accurate as unofficial returns possibly can be.

Extra telephone operators will be at The Journal switchboards to accommodate the people who may not wish to stand in the street to read the bulletins. Call 4000 Main, either phone, for the latest on election night.

Labels: Eighth street, McGee street, politics, telegraph, telephone, The Journal

March 31, 1908

SEEKS HUSBAND FOR "MAMMA"

Girl of 12 Writes to the Kansas

Farmers, Who Have Left Town.

If the fat and lean farmers from "away out" in Kansas had shown up at the matron's room yesterday they might have been entertained again. There were no marriagable women to look them over, but there were numerous telephone calls and many letters.

It having been stated in yesterday's papers that the 250-pound, good-natured man with the thin hair had picked his wife Sunday afternoon at the matron's reception, most of the calls yesterday were for the lean one with six children.

"I'll take him," said one of the many women over the 'phone', "and be glad to get him, too. I am 35 years old, 5 feet 4 inches tall and weigh 183 pounds. I have only one handicap -- a glass eye, but I can see good out of the other one and have two good hands to work. My name is Hannah. By the way, if I get him, he can keep chewing tobacco. I wouldn't mind a little thing like that if I got a home."

"Hanna" gave her address. She said she was in "dead earnest" and would either "call for, send for, or come and get the lean one."

A little girl of 12 wrote to ask for a husband for her mother. She said: "My mamma has been a widow for five years. She is 46 years old and a good honest woman. I know she would like to have a good home, for she seems so lonesome, and I would not be much trouble. I will soon be able to look out for myself. I want to get a good husband for mamma and not let her know that I did it." The little maid tells where she may be found.

Among the letters was one from a man who wants the matron's assistance in securing a wife. "I am a lonely man of 27," he writes, "of good moral character, with no bad habits and do not drink or use tobacco. At present I am working as a janitor at ----- and get fairly good wages. The woman I marry must not be over 26 and a good, honest girl with dark hair and eyes. Such a girl I could love with all my might. I have a $300 piano and a $60 talking machine and everything to make a home bright and cheerful as possible.

The two farmers never showed up at all yesterday, and it is believed that they made tracks for home.

Labels: children, farmers, police matron, romance, telephone

March 30, 1908

FAT AND LEAN MEN

CAN'T FIND WIVES.

THIRTY-ONE LONESOME WOMEN

CAREFULLY LOOK THEM OVER.

Then Go Away Unsatisfied -- Wise

Police Officer Finds a Clue to

a Joke and Advances

a Theory.

Thirty-one women called at the police matron's office yesterday afternoon between the hours of 3 and 6 o'clock to look at the "fat and lean farmers" from Kansas, who came here in search of wives. Did not any of the women want a husband? Yes, they did not. They just came to look at the two men. Every woman interviewed by the reporters laughed at the idea of wanting to get married.

"I just called to see what was going on," said one. "I am a friend of the matron's," explained another. "I just came to rubber at the foolish men," a third made reply.

Twenty-eight of the thirty-one were widows or bachelor girls, of 30 -- or say 29 -- summers. Three were young girls who "just dropped in after the ball game to see the fun." Every woman but one in the crowd wore a Merry Widow hat and clothes that suggested Easter. And the one was garbed in black, "mourning for my dear husband," she sniffled and, to tell the truth, black becomes her white face and dark eyes exceedingly well.

Did any of the thirty-one condescend to speak to the two men? Well, Mrs. John Moran and Mrs. Lizzie Burns, the police matrons, do say that ten of the women went into the inner room of the office, one at a time, with each man, and "talked it all over." Was there any result? Yes, perhaps.

The fat man smiles and smiles. The lean man admits that he didn't find a woman suitable to be the future Mrs. Day -- but that is telling too much. They are coming back to the matron's office this morning, they said on leaving yesterday evening.

According to Mrs. Burns the day was at least half a success. She says:

"The fat farmer without any hair fixed it all up with one woman. She was the third who went with him into the sanctum for a heart to heart talk. What did they say? Oh, I didn't listen to them. Anyhow, I know he took her name and address and she said as she was leaving, all blushes and smiles, that it would take her all night to pack her trunk and that she could not get ready for the wedding before tomorrow.

"She is a nice looking young woman, tall, slender, a brunette and works in the Home telephone office. Oh, I didn't mean to tell you where she worked, so don't please don't publish that. She is a widow, she says. What is her name? I promised not to tell until the skinny man gets him a wife and we have a double wedding.

"No, the skinny man with the lovely mustache and the two farms didn't get one. I don't think he will, either, because he has six children. That many children are an awful handicap for a man looking for a wife. But he is coming back tomorrow."

The thin man said that he wasn't a bit discouraged.

"I came to Kansas City for a good time," he said, "and I've had it. You certainly have a fine lot of women here. Maybe if I didn't have all those children I might have done better, but I am proud of the children and wouldn't give them up for any woman I have seen today. I'm not going to worry over it. Its been a lot of fun sitting here and watching women come with their fine clothes to talk to Evans and me.

"He talks like he had been stung, doesn't he?" whispered Mrs. Moran.

Desk Sergeant Charles McVey, who counted the women going up and down the stairs to the matron's room, tells the story from a different angle.

"I don't believe that the men are farmers or that they want wives. I have a hunch that one of them is this Mr. Piffles, who is in Kansas city advertising a certain brand of automobile and that he comes to the station to put off a joke on the police. I've had a good look at both the fellows, and if I see them again this week, I'll pinch one or both of them on general principles.

"Why, look at this thing sensibly. Here are our two matrons, both widows, both nice looking and fairly young. If those men came here in search of wives wouldn't they steal our matrons instead of conducting a circus performance and making a lot of women put on their best clothes and come trapesing down to the city hall?"

Before the fat man without any hair on top left, he slipped one of the reporters the name and address of a woman. There was pride in his eye, when he did this, and he seemed to be attempting to keep his action from the eyes of the thin man. The reporter tried to find the address, but there is no such street number. Also there is no woman by that name listed in the city directory. The reporter doesn't know whether the woman fooled the fat man or whether the fat man tried to fool the reporter. It'll all come out in the wash today.

Labels: city hall, clothing, police matron, romance, Sergeant McVey, telephone, women

March 28, 1908

SAVED GREEN'S TOMATOES.

Even Though He Had to Call on the

Police for Help.

"I want some of you fellows here to call James Green, the old man, at Twelfth and Prospect, and have him call Jimmy Green, young Jimmy, his son, at Twelfth and Montgall, and have Jimmy tell his wife to go out on the back porch and take in them tomato plants. They'll sure freeze if they stay out all night tonight."

The foregoing request was made by an aged man who strolled into police headquarters last night and announced that he was "in deep trouble and needed some help." The request was so unusual, and as it was made in a drawling tone, the police only laughed. The old man's feelings appeared to be hurt because no one would take him seriously.

"I mean just what I say," he insisted. "I have been making a garden for young Jimmy Green. A short time ago I sowed tomato seed in a box. The plants came up and today I put the box out in the sun and went away and left it. When it began to turn cold a little while ago I thought of them tomato plants and want young Jimmy's wife to take 'em in, so I do. They'll all be ruined if she don't."

When it was seen that the old gardener was serious, James Green was called over the telephone. He said he would tell "young Jimmy" and that he knew young Jimmy would tell his wife. The old man was contented at this information and kindly thanked all who had aided him in saving the tomato plants. He game the name of John Hiltbrunner, and his residence as 309 Walnut street.

"I used to own 200 acres of the best land in Iowa," he said sadly. "My children all grew up, married and left me. After that my wife died. Then I lost my homestead and have virtually been turned out upon the world to make a living at the age of 63 years. Knowing nothing but farming I have been making my way as a gardener and manage to keep the wolf away when the season is on."

When asked why he did not go to live with some of his married children the old man hung his head. "Oh , you know how children are when they marry and settle down for themselves. Sometimes they forget the old folks."

Labels: food, Montgall avenue, police headquarters, Prospect avenue, Seniors, telephone, Twelfth street, Walnut Street

March 25, 1908

LOCKED IN SALOON -- HORRORS!

Terrible Fate, Which Confronted Tom

Morgan When Rescued by Police.

One o'clock has so broken up the practice of spending the night in saloons that when Tom Morgan, 616 East Fifth street, had a chance last night to remain a lone guest among the intoxicants of Zimmerman's place, 719 Delaware street, he telephoned for help to get out. He didn't even take a drink before he resorted to the telephone.

At Home telephone headquarters the Western Union clock said 12:30 when a buzzer registered from the Delaware street saloon.

"Number?" purred Central.

"I want out," a husky voice came back.

"Out of where?"

"Out of here."

"Where is here?"

"Oh, I went to sleep in the back room of Zimmerman's saloon here on Delaware street and the bartender locked up without finding me."

Central held the line and called police headquarters. When she had got Patrolman A. O. Darbow on the phone and posted him she put on Morgan.

He was excited. Darbow didn't seem to be in a hurry, and after he had promised release and hung up the receiver Morgan called the station again.

"You didn't tell me how soon you'd come, officer," he said. "I'm lonely and nervous and cold"

"Well, see if you can't find something there to calm yourself with, and a liquid stove, perhaps, and something smooth and cheerful and friendly on the back bar."

"Good suggestion, old man. Hadn't thought of it. The time won't seem so long now, but don't tarry."

"Only waiting for a detective to blow in with a pocketful of skeleton keys and burglar tools and we'll be right up."

Twenty minutes later Darbow and Detectives Godley and Phelan liberated the prisoner.

There was the suggestion of a skate in Morgan's leg actions as he sought his bearings, but he soon was on a bee line for Fifth street.

Labels: alcohol, Delaware street, Fifth street, police, saloon, telephone

March 24, 1908

BELL 'PHONES TO BE LOWER.

Compromise With City in Pole

Tax Controversy.

An ordinance introduced in the upper house last night, and referred for one week to the committee on streets, alleys and grades, contemplates the immediate reduction of Bell telephone rates from $96 to $60, in the business district, and from $60 to $36 per year for instruments in residences.

Accompanying this ordinance was another effecting a compromise between the city and the Mirrouri and Kansas Telephone Company, populraly known as the Bell system, whereby the city drops its pole and conduit scheme of taxation and is to accept 2 per cent of the gross earnings of the company, in addition to the right to use one conduit and all pins on the Bell poles, for the carrying of police and fire department wires. Further, the city is to receive $28,533.34 as a settlement of arrears of disputed taxes and also to get a receipt for something like $7,500 due the Bell compny for services already rendered.

Labels: telephone, Utilities

March 6, 1908

WELL, WHO KILLED THE DOG?

Perhaps His Loquacious Mistress Told

Him Her Troubles.

"I used to think that people would run out of freak grounds for asking criminal warrants," remarked Assistant Prosecutor Kimbrell yesterday, "but there is a new one every day. Today it is a woman who wants a man arrested for prescribing for her dog, when the man isn't a registered veterinary. She is very much excited, because the dog died. She--"

The telephone rang and Kimbrell answered:

"No, as I told you a while ago, we can't swear out a warrant for the man who doctored your dog, unless you can prove that he was not a registered veterinary. Yes, I know, you think he isn't, but you must be positive. The best thing for you is to bring a civil suit for damages, if you think he --"

Here Bert stopped five minutes to listen. He resumed:

"The dog died within three hours of when the man left? Well, I've known lots of people to die within three hours after a good doctor left them.

"You think he didn't diagnose the case correctly? Well, maybe he didn't. All doctors make mistakes, you know. What do you think was the matter with the dog? Pneumonia. And he said it was a fever? Well, maybe he was mistaken.

"Why don't you call in another doctor and have him hold a post mortem examination. That's the only way you can be sure what killed the dog. He might have swallowed a rat biscuit for all you know. What doctor will hold a post-mortem? Oh, any of them. Try your family physician. Oh, that's all right, no trouble at all. Goodby.

"I came near telling her to call Coroner Thompson to hold the autopsy," Kimbrell remarked, when he had hung up the receiver. "I'm glad I didn't, because Dr. Thompson would have been angry and then she would have blamed this office."

Labels: animals, Coroner Thompson, Prosecutor Kimbrell, telephone

February 19, 1908

AMBULANCES RACE FOR

A "DEAD" MAN.

Floater Taken From River

Turns Out to Be Alive.

A real "live" floater caused a neck and neck race along the river front yesterday afternoon between the emergency hospital ambulance and an undertaker's "dead wagon." The race attracted a great deal of attention and caused no end of excitement in the North End. The ambulance is painted gray and the dead wagon, of course, was black. It brought to mind the famous race between the "bob-tailed horse and the gray", but this time the "gray ambulance" won by a hame string.

The cause of the race was John Reich, 45 years old, a laborer of 1011 Cherry street. Reich was taken out of the river for dead. The emergency hospital was notified. Secretary Ebert called Coroner Thompson and the coroner detailed an undertaker to get the "dead man."

In about 20 minutes the telephone at the emergency rang again, and a trembling voice said, "Say feller, that floater ain't no floater 'tall. He's come to. That is, he's turned over onct. Better send the avalance and a doctor 'stead 'o the coroner."

It was then that the ambulance was dispatched and it was too late to call off the undertaker. That was the reason both vehicles met on the way to the river. The first one noticed of the other's presence. They were neck and neck on the river's sands and were "going some" to the east.

Undertakers have been known to race before and it may have been that this one thought a rival was after the body. The driver of the police amulance took up the race in a spirit of fun.

First one would forge ahead, then the other would come up fast and pass at a gallop. The police had the better team, however as it does nothing but run, and the driver was sport enough to win only by a hame string, when he could easily have outdistanced the dead wagon.

Lying on the bank, blue and cold, was Reich. When the undertaker's man saw the "floater" squirm and kick, he said things in "dead languages," reversed his team and slowly drove back home.

Reich was taken to the emergency hospital, where he was pumped out and artificial respiration used to get his lungs into working order. He was put to bed amid a bevy of hot water bottles and bags. In a couple of hours the "dead one" was in a condition to talk.

Reich recalled taking a drink a place down near the Winner piers. After that he said that he just "passed on" He did not know where he got into the water, how he got there, how long he was in, who got him out or where he was taken out.

"All I know is that I can't swim no more than a rock, and I got the derndest coldest duckin' a man ever got -- at least that I ever got. When I get out of this I'm goin' down there to look that ground -- or water -- over."

While Reich appears to be recuperating rapidly, Dr. W. L. Gist, who resuscitated him at the emergency hospital, said that the great danger now was pneumonia.

Labels: Cherry street, Coroner Thompson, Dr. Gist, emergency hospital, laborer, Missouri river, telephone, undertakers

February 4, 1908

HE DOUBTS WALLACE'S MERCY.

Justice Young Hesitates About Send-

ing Case to Criminal Judge.

In endeavoring to save Herman P. Brumfield, 20 years old, from a prospective term in the penitentiary, Justice John B. Young yesterday refused to bind the young man over to the criminal court on his admission of having embezzled $60 from the Home Telephone Company. Brumfield had paid the money back and apparently expected this fact to absolve him from prosecution. The company chose to push the matter.

Brumfield's lawyers set forth that if the prisoner were held to the criminal court, inasmuch as he had made a confession in writing, he could not be saved from the penitentiary. They asked that he be allowed to plead guilty to a misdermeanor, but the prosecution declined this offer.

"If it is a case for leniency," said the prosecution, "put it up to Judge Wallace and let him be the judge of that."

"But I can't tell about the quality of Judge Wallace's mercy," answered Justice Young, "and I'm going to take this case under advisement for a week."

Brumfield was a collector for the telephone company and the money was taken in small sums, at various times, for a period of two months.

Labels: embezzlement, Judge Wallace, Judges, telephone

January 22, 1908

DOG CALLED CENTRAL;

POLICEMAN RESPONDED.

Joyful Bowwows When Officer

Entered the Home.

Nakomis is a dog, he is a beautiful Scotch Collie with almost human intelligence, consequently he gets very lonesome when left by himself. He lives at 1721 McGee street with Robert Stoll and his wife. When it happens that both Stoll and his wife are away from home, a little girl who lives next door keeps Nakomis company in her home.

Yesterday morning Mrs. Stoll left her home to go shopping. Forgetting that the dog was in the house, she locked the doors and went on her way. Soon Nakomis had a strong desire for caresses and scampered about the house to find his mistress. No one answered to his pleading barks and no human was in the house. The feeling of lonesomeness began to grow upon him.

Now, as has been said, Nakomis is a dog of almost human intelligence. He had been taught to bark through the telephone to his master at his place of business. Thought he had been taught to talk through the instrument, no one had shown him how to take the receiver off the hook. This did not long disturb him, however, and he soon knocked the receiver down with his paws, barking all the while.

"Number, please. What number," called the gentle voice of the operator over the wire. "Hello-hello."

But no answer came back to her, save the barking of a dog. Believing that something was wrong in the house, the operator called up the Walnut street police station and told the officers that there was trouble of some kind at 1721 McGee street, it was murder from the way it sounded. Officer Robert Dunlop was detailed to see what the matter was at that address. When he neared the house he, too, heard the loud barking on the inside.

Drawing his revolver he forced his way into the house and was greeted with joyful barks and playful leaps from Nakomis. He had someone to play with at last. The officer went to the phone and found the instrument lying upon the floor.

Labels: animals, McGee street, telephone, Walnut street police station

October 20, 1907

ONCE, ANYWAY, THEY WORKED.

County Employes, at Varying Sal-

aries, Answered Telephones.

Inquiries from shopkeepers who wanted to know what they might do and what commodities they might sell today without laying themselves liable to arrest, flooding in over the telephones in the criminal court building yesterday, kept four employes of the county busy all day. Two men sat by the telephones in the county prosecutor's office and two in the city marshal's office answering or trying to answer questions. They are men who draw salaaries from the county of from $75 to $150 a month. Questions of all sorts were asked.

"I run a barber shop. I won't shave anybody tomorrow, but may I turn the water on in the bathtubs?" inquired one voice.

"I pass that," replied Assistant Prosecuting Attorney Kimbrell, who was on the telephone. "Cleanliness in next to Godliness, as I have heard, but I don't know what Judge Wallace will say about your selling a bath on Sunday."

"I am an undertaker and there is a man in my office now who wants me to furnish a hearse and carriages for his wife's funeral tomorrow. Will I be arrested if I do so?"

"When did the lady die?" replied Jimmy Moran, for this question floated into the county marshal's office.

"Friday, " replied the undertaker.

"That's a very unlucky day to die on," Jimmy said. "Especially since the lid is on. If you think the body won't keep until Monday, go ahead with the funeral Sunday."

The afternoon papers had not been on the street more than five minutes when the four county officers who served as telephone boys got into real trouble. The earlier instructions of Judge Wallace exempted the sellers of candies, bread, ice, milk, and other necessities of life from arrest. But the grand jury told police to report all kinds of business transacted excepting the sales of drugs and service of meals.

Candy store keepers, florists, and bakers, who thought they were exempt, began calling in to find out whether they should obey Judge Wallace or the grand jury. The men on the answer ends of the telephones were up against it and said so frankly.

"Judge Wallace last night wouldn't discuss the change which the grand jury made during his absence from the city, other than to say that he would look into the matter Monday morning. Men who know him, though, believe that promises which he made to bakers and others, many by personal word, will not be violated. If the jury should decide to go beyond the judge's instructions and close everything in the city excepting drug stores and restaurants, however, the judge will, perhaps, back it in enforcing the rules after today.

Labels: barbers, Judge Wallace, Prosecutor Kimbrell, retailers, telephone, undertakers

June 4, 1907

PAROLE FOR MRS. NEWBRY.

She Promises to Stay Away From

Kansas City, Mo., for One Year.

Mrs. Amanda Newbry, of Kansas City, Kas., has been paroled from the workhouse by Mayor Beardsley with the understanding that she is not to visit Kansas City, Mo., for one year. Mrs. Newbry was fined $500 in police court for sending telephone messages and letters to the wife of a street contractor. The arrest of Mrs. Newbry followed on the complaint of the wife. She was sent to the workhouse for one year, and her children and husband, who are held in high esteem in Kansas City, Kas., appealed to Mayor Beardsley for her release from the workhouse.

Labels: Kansas City Kas, Mayor Beardsley, police court, telephone, workhouse

May 29, 1907

HAD A "WIRELESS PHONE".

Kansas City, Kas., Barber Who Had

a Vision at Police Station.

T. J. Shelton, 807 Cherry street, a barber with a shop at 1 1/2 Central avenue, Kansas City, Kas., walked into police headquarters early Monday morning and asked to be "detained" for a time.

"It's a good bed and the long rest is what I need," he said.

When Shelton was placed in the matron's room he immediately went into using an imaginary phone in the corner of his cell.

"It's a wireless phone," he told Dr. W. L. Gist. ""Handy things, aren't they? Wouldn't be without one."

Later Shelton called Mrs. Joan Moran, the matron, and handing her a quarter said: "I wish you'd send a meal up on the elevator there to my nurse. She's up there and hasn't had anything to eat for some time."

Shelton pointed carelessly out into space as he spoke of "the elevator there." An order was made to send him to the general hospital yesterday. In the afternoon he appeared better, however, and made many promised regarding his future conduct, so Dr. Gist allowed him to be taken in charge by a friend.

Labels: Central avenue, Cherry street, doctors, Dr. Gist, elevators, general hospital, Kansas City Kas, mental health, police, police matron, telephone

March 18, 1907

GIRL KILLS HERSELF.

Miss Ella Zorn Takes Fatal Dose

of Carbolic Acid.

Despondency over ill health it is believed caused Miss Ella Zorn, a former telephone operator, 20 years old, to commit suicide by taking carbolic acid at the home of her sister, Mrs. Theodore Fromell, with whom she and her mother were visiting, 409 Colorado avenue, about 5 o'clock yesterday afternoon. The young woman was a niece of Dr. Louis A. Zorn, under indictment for the murder of Albert Secrest at Ninth and Prospect avenue some time ago. She with her mother made their home with a brother of Dr. Zorn, Charles Zorn, 3125 Vine street.

The mother had left the room where the girl lay on a couch, only for a few moments, and when she returned Miss Zorn was writhing in agony from the effects of the acid she had just taken. The mother, at first, thought the girl was suffering from an attack of her heart trouble, to which she was subject, but on drawing closer to the couch detected the fumes of the poison. She ran to the home of a neighbor, who sent for Dr. W. H. Crowder, 5000 Independence avenue. When the physician arrived the girl was still alive, and medical attention was promptly given her, but she died a half-hour later.

Mr. and Mrs. Fromell were out when the girl took the acid, but they returned home just before she died.

Miss Zorn and her mother had spent the night before with Mrs. Fromell and their intention was to return to their home last evening.

"I can see no other reason than despondency over ill health for the girl taking her own life," said Mr. Fromell last night. "She seemed in good spirits all of the day."

The fatal draught was sipped from a little china cup aand it is supposed the poison was found by the girl on one of the pantry shelves. Joseph Zorn, a brother, lives at 1326 Askew avenue.

Labels: Askew avenue, Colorado avenue, doctors, Independence avenue, Ninth street, Prospect avenue, Suicide, telephone, Vine street