© 1909 T. Foster Rogers

The wind blows the strongest 
In Kansas City; 
The winter days are longest 
In Kansas City; 
The parks are the greenest 
The business is the keenest 
And politics the meanest 
In Kansas City.

The banker is the proudest 
In Kansas City; 
Money talks the loudest 
In Kansas City; 
Without it it’s unhandy 
With it you’re a dandy; 
For Money buys the candy 
In Kansas City. 

Some men squeeze the dollars 
In Kansas City, 
Until the Eagle hollers 
In Kansas City; 
For they know if they go broke 
They’ll be friendless, that’s no joke, 
And they’ll have their clothes to soak 
In Kansas City. 

The streets are the steepest 
In Kansas City; 
They are kept, though, the cleanest, 
In Kansas City; 
Opportunities are thickest 
And pickpockets the slickest 
But arrest are made the quickest 
In Kansas City. 

The girls are always sweetest 
In Kansas City; 
And dress themselves the neatest 
In Kansas City; 
They wear the tallest collars 
And know the worth of dollars 
So they smile on wealthy callers 
In Kansas City. 

Divorces are the fewest 
In Kansas City; 
For women are the truest 
In Kansas City; 
They’ve a twinkle in their eye 
That woos the passer-by 
Oh, let me live and die 
In Kansas City.